My some experiences in Second Life
Before I started to play Second Life, Our professor warned us of the probable culture shock. I suddenly became worried about this game. However, after my exploration in it, I found there is no need to be anxious. The only thing I have to do is enjoying the fun and experiencing everything which is so new to me. I have known that there are many activities in Second Fife. I went to a place where we can dance. At the entrance I met some female attendants. They are all very nice and kind to me. Since I didn’t have the proper dress I couldn’t join the dance party. They therefore helped me to get a free one and directed some helpful position to me. A girl came from Singapore was really friendly and was eager to tell me her own experience in SL. And a Japanese girl was the first one who talked so much to me in SL. Everything was so strange to me at that time. I had difficulty in clicking rightly. I made some mistakes. Yet she didn’t tease me but teach me with patience. She told me that she went to SL because she wanted to practice her English. And I told her my why I went to SL was due to the assignment. Now I am very glad to have the special opportunity. This is such a new kind of studying for me.
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回覆刪除[2:04] Brooke Yven: How did you get to know these guys?
回覆刪除[2:04] Alina Roxley: so writer can talk about ur opinions about the news first
[2:05] alicealice Zepp: I went to a place and most of them are attandents there
[2:05] Brooke Yven: Why and how did you been to there?
[2:06] alicealice Zepp: I want to see the ball whether it is so real or not
[2:07] Brooke Yven: The ball?
[2:07] Alina Roxley: does it have a name
[2:07] alicealice Zepp: Well
[2:07] Alina Roxley: maybe u can tell the name of the place in ur news
[2:07] alicealice Zepp: It is a place hold ball or party something like that
[2:07] alicealice Zepp: ok I will check it
[2:08] alicealice Zepp: it is a palace
[2:08] Alina Roxley: it's ok if u don't know
[2:08] Alina Roxley: but u should mention the "ball"
[2:08] alicealice Zepp: Yes but I will find it out XD
[2:08] Brooke Yven: Um, I agree with Alina.
[2:09] Alina Roxley: because "a place where we can dance" gives the impression of a pub or something
[2:09] alicealice Zepp: OH because I wanted focus on those who are friendly to me
[2:09] alicealice Zepp: OH oh!
[2:09] Brooke Yven: Since you're a new comer in SL, how and why did you get to there.
[2:09] alicealice Zepp: YOu mean that?
[2:09] alicealice Zepp: OK
[2:09] Brooke Yven: Yes. I'm curious.
[2:09] Alina Roxley: ya because u can dance anywhere actually
[2:09] alicealice Zepp: I will explain my reason and describe the place clearly
[2:10] Brooke Yven: And if possibile, I would want to been to there and take a look.
[2:10] Alina Roxley: and u can post a pic of the ball
[2:10] alicealice Zepp: I can do that
[2:10] alicealice Zepp: Ya
[2:11] alicealice Zepp: it is easy XDDDD
[2:11] Alina Roxley: in the beginning u said ur experience is different from what teacher told us
[2:11] Alina Roxley: i think it's good
[2:11] alicealice Zepp: Um
[2:11] alicealice Zepp: Because I really met nice guy
[2:11] alicealice Zepp: : )
[2:11] Alina Roxley: but if it's possible, it's better to add something in the end to connect the beginning
[2:12] Alina Roxley: haha u r like a blosom flower lol
[2:12] alicealice Zepp: Oh, you mean i should complete the theme
[2:12] Heather Alenquer: is there organizer?
[2:12] alicealice Zepp: YOU : )
[2:12] Alina Roxley: lol
[2:13] Heather Alenquer: or editor? oh ok
[2:13] Alina Roxley: ya
[2:13] Heather Alenquer: i see
[2:13] Alina Roxley: and separate ur news into paragraphs
[2:13] alicealice Zepp: UM~~~
[2:13] alicealice Zepp: Ok
[2:13] Alina Roxley: to make it more organized
[2:13] alicealice Zepp: Ya think so
[2:13] alicealice Zepp: I
[2:13] Alina Roxley: each paragraph has one point
[2:14] alicealice Zepp: OK I think it is important
[2:15] Alina Roxley: or it would be like 流水帳
[2:15] alicealice Zepp: Ya somthing like that orzzzzz
[2:16] Brooke Yven: Um, a little isn't like a news ^^"
[2:16] alicealice Zepp: XDrz
[2:16] Alina Roxley: 'haha
[2:16] alicealice Zepp: i will revise most part of it
[2:16] Alina Roxley: i'm sorry
[2:17] Alina Roxley: u should make some points :)
[2:17] alicealice Zepp: You are right
[2:17] alicealice Zepp: I noticed it also冏
[2:17] Alina Roxley: the beginning that ur experience is different from what teacher said is like a general point
[2:18] Brooke Yven: Yes.
[2:18] alicealice Zepp: Um
[2:18] Alina Roxley: and the following u can make it clearly into points of how different
[2:18] alicealice Zepp: Oh i see
[2:19] Alina Roxley: for example "people r nice" is a point
[2:19] alicealice Zepp: Um
[2:19] Alina Roxley: and u have several examples to support it
[2:19] Brooke Yven: You may mention the job they are doing as well.
[2:19] alicealice Zepp: So i have support my point
[2:19] alicealice Zepp: ok
[2:19] alicealice Zepp: to
[2:20] Alina Roxley: and in the end u can make a conclusion to connect the beginning
[2:20] Brooke Yven: Are we finished yet so far?
[2:20] alicealice Zepp: OK
[2:20] alicealice Zepp: and question or advice?
[2:20] alicealice Zepp: ~~~~
[2:20] alicealice Zepp: any
[2:20] Alina Roxley: and also ur grammars
[2:21] Brooke Yven: Well I have to agree I enjoy dancing more than talking here.
[2:21] Brooke Yven: lol
[2:21] alicealice Zepp: Um i will check it
[2:22] Alina Roxley: ok
[2:22] Alina Roxley: so i think i'm done with my opinions
[2:22] alicealice Zepp: Thanks~~~
[2:22] Brooke Yven: Me, too.
[2:22] alicealice Zepp: : )
[2:22] Alina Roxley: :)
Your article needs to be separated into paragraphs, and each paragraph has one point, and you can also take some examples to support the point. At the end of the article you can add something to connect what you mention at the beginning. And it is better to tell the name of the place, and mention the “ball” or readers will think it something like a pub. Readers may be curious about the reason why you go there. You can al so describe the place clearly. Post a picture the show the place. And check the grammars.
The focus is not you; instead, you should report on people, events, or place. The title should also be rephrased.
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